I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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