How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
