So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
