your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
