It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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