now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just google imaged poop.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
