We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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