I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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