she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
