I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
