Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
