I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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