Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
