dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
