This dress was meant to end up on your floor
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
