You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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