question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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