I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
