Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
