Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
