I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
