you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
