whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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