She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
