So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
