His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
