New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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