I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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