never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Houston, we have a blender
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
