she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
