also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
