i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
