My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
