i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
