Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
