Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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