I'm really into asian looking animals
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
