WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize