Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Someone signed my nipple.
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