Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
