i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
