Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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