I would go down on you faster than GM stock
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize