Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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