Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We are two peas in an std pod
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
