i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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