They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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