Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
