5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You ruined the universe
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
