I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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