Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
