I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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