I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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