i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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