Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
