How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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