Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
