I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
