carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
