He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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