I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This baby is an asshole
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
