She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
