he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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