You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
