So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
