I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
