The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The feeling are messing with the penis
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
