I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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