have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
