When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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