THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
