I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
