That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
